On the Down Low (English)

In this combination coming-out memoir and relationship guide, J.L. King shares his regret concerning the double life he led for 25 years and its effects on those he loved. King's sexual partners included both women and men, the latter a secret pursuit "on the down low" (a phrase borrowed from music). He never saw himself as being gay or bisexual, and he explains how he rationalized his lifestyle. It took King a long time to admit the truth, even after his marriage broke up when his wife discovered him in bed with another man, and even as he started a career, under a pseudonym, as a speaker on the topic of AIDS and MSM's--men who sleep with other men. King joined the church, and began a research project on MSM's manifestations in the Black church, the military, and correctional institutions. He advises women to consider the possibilities that the man in their life may be an MSM, and identifies character types and behavior patterns that may be clues. He strongly advocates education for women and for youth, and counsels total honesty and openness. He regrets most that his secret life interfered with an honest relationship with his wife and children, whom he loves dearly and who now support him. minimize